Posted by: Hil | January 8, 2009

On Farmers Markets and Facing Fears

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Today was a special day:  my first Thursday farmer’s market lunch since summer!  The farmer’s market, which was always on the small side, seems to have gotten smaller since summer (boo!), but I managed to acquire a very tasty Middle Eastern lunch with falafel, tabbouleh, eggplant and rice.  The eggplant too oily for me (and that takes some doing), but the rest was quite respectable.  The main fun of a farmer’s market lunch is wandering around in lovely Southern California weather and deciding which stand smells the best that day.

Dinner was a no-muss affair: a cara cara orange (I love the pretty pink color)…

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…followed by a bowl of leftover vegetable soup (always better the second day) and a rye cracker with some farmer’s market feta.  This was exactly what I wanted.  I’ve been thinking about sugar an unusual amount after my fling with a bag of Christmas gummy bears, but when I actually sit down to eat, vegetables are what really hit the spot.  And I am such a huge fan of coming home and not having to do anything more complicated than put a pot on the stove and turn on the heat.

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I have never been one for New Year’s resolutions, but I am a fan of taking time every now and then to take stock of things and think about changes you might want to make.  For me, a natural time to do that is always at semester breaks.  As a student, each semester I have a new schedule and a chance to start fresh.  As I sat down to think about things I would like to change or try in the upcoming semester, one thing kept popping to the front of my mind:  I want to go back to yoga.

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I’ve been thinking about it increasingly for months now.  It’s so strange for me to admit this, but it’s been a year and a half since I’ve practiced yoga.   I really miss it. 

My mom taught me how to do some simple yoga when I was a child and I immediately loved it.  In high school, my mom and I found a good teacher and I practiced regularly.  I only practiced sporadically in college–yoga classes never fit into my schedule and I just never prioritized it.  I did sun salutations in my dorm room (I even taught some friends how), but it wasn’t the same.  I got back into yoga in earnest the summer before I got married, but then I moved to Los Angeles and never found a new studio.  It’s so strange, because I think of yoga as being such a part of who I am.  I love yoga.  Yet I haven’t really made time for it in years.

Honestly, I am terrified to go back.  The last year and a half has been very stressful for me, and I know that my flexibility, focus and balance are all shot.  I know that my first class is going to be an extremely humbling experience.  But I know that it is an experience that I need.  The very fact that I feel so tense and unbalanced is what is driving me back into yoga in the first place.

The husband is in a very similar position.  He was a nationally ranked fencer in high school, but our tiny colleges didn’t have a fencing team so he stopped.  He would drop into the fencing club every now and then, but he hasn’t done anything regular in years.  He’s talked about starting up fencing every semester since we moved to LA, but he never has.  Like me, I think he’s pretty scared to go back.

But we’re both going to.  Starting next week, we are going to set aside one day a week for me to go to yoga and for him to fence.  I’ve found a new studio on my way home from work that I’m going to try.  I’m still nervous, even though I know I shouldn’t be, but I stumbled on this post today at Our Kitchen Adventures, and it really reminded me how wonderful yoga is and what a sense of accomplishment and peace it gave me.  More importantly, it reminded me that struggles are a normal part of yoga and can be overcome.  Wish me luck!

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Responses

  1. Wow, that is so awesome that you and your husband are going to go back to yoga and fencing respectively! Good luck with that! Enjoy your night, and good luck!!

  2. I would say, and I know you will do this because you are one of the most balanced bloggers I “know,” but don’t expect to be where you were and don’t get frustrated with yourself. My dad just started yoga and he always tells me how it’s important not to push too far. With practice, it will come.

    Heather

  3. it is hard to go back to things that you were once good at as a kid! but yoga isn’t about how good you are, it’s about inner peace. i think? i don’t “practice” but i’ve been meaning to give it a shot…

    good luck guys!

  4. mmm i have been craving falafel since i saw a Bobby Flay “Throwdown” with it the other night on food network!

    good luck with yoga, just remember to take it slow and accept that it will be hard at first. You can do it though, and I wait to hear about your journey!

  5. Good luck with the yoga! Have to (re)start somewhere.

    Farmer’s market sounds awesome. And I lovelovelove having a massive bowl of soup in my freezer just waiting for me to take out and heat up when I get home at the end of a long day.

  6. best of luck w/ the yoga – hope you find that balance of taking time for yourself – im trying to do it also 🙂

  7. Congratulations. You still have everything you need inside and I just know you’re going to discover that peace again. 🙂

  8. Good luck!

  9. It seems like yoga is exactly what you need to make yourself happy! i’m glad you have found the time to fit it in your schedule again. I just am starting up yoga, and reading your post really helps me understand how great it can make you feel.


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